We all want our stories to leap off the page—to feel so real a reader becomes immersed. In pursuit of this, many writers reach for descriptive phrasing and higher vocabulary. But what happens when a description goes too far and turns into adverb-and-adjective soup with a side of ten-dollar words? How do you fix purple prose? Or, more importantly, avoid it altogether?
Before we dive in, let’s clear up some things.
What Is Purple Prose?
The term refers to writing that is too elaborate or complicated. This type of writing tends to draw attention away from the story and toward the author and their prodigious vocabulary. You may see sentences that are packed full of descriptors and far too much detail to be easily understood.
For example, here’s an excerpt from Paul Clifford, a novel written by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1830:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Can you believe that’s all one sentence? Bulwer-Lytton has crammed so much extra information into it that a reader might miss the actual scene he’s setting. The sentence is cumbersome to read and crowded with unnecessary added description. The night is not just dark or stormy, but the rain is “torrential,” the wind is “violent gusts” that “rattle” and “fiercely agitate” the “scant” flames of the lamps. To top it off, the author even interjects that the story takes place in London, which could easily be saved for the next sentence or somewhere else in the paragraph.
Now that we’ve covered what purple prose is . . .
Why Is It “Bad”?
Well, it is and it isn’t. To some, it’s simply a matter of taste, but there’s still good reason to be cautious of purple prose. Here are a few reasons why:
- It can be a drag to read purple prose. The added language and flowery phrasing may feel artistic, but these factors also slow story pacing and can leave a reader feeling like they have to “work” to get to the good stuff.
- It can distract from what’s actually happening in the story. Take the example we used from Paul Clifford. Imagine the author is trying to set a scene in which two friends get a drink after a long day. The flowery description, though vivid, would distract the reader from what’s actually happening. Purple prose can skew story focus and leave the reader searching for concrete ground.
- In some cases, purple prose feels like an author’s attempt at showing off their vocabulary or literary skill rather than telling a well-structured story. This not only alienates potential readers, it can also result in a less-than-favorable reputation for the author.
Is It Always Bad?
The short answer is no. The longer answer is that it takes skill—and a lot of practice—to make purple prose feel “right” in a book. The fact is most stories don’t need poetic phrasing or enigmatic descriptions, but an author’s individual style can make all the difference. A splash of purple can enhance the story experience, but it should be reserved for a fitting moment. Think of flowery phrases like a three-piece suit or ball gown: it may look stunning on, but it’s not the right attire for meeting your friends for coffee.
Are you “dressing right” for the occasion?
Avoiding Purple Prose
If you’re inclined toward flowery language, chances are some of your passages look pretty purple. It happens to the best of us, but there are a few tricks to staying constantly vigilant as you write.
- Be sparing with the thesaurus. An overcomplicated sentence is annoying, but one packed with stuffy, complex wording is even more of a chore to get through. Remember: not every literary frill is a desideratum.
- Focus on using your own voice—or the voice of your narrator character. Fact is, most of us keep it pretty simple and direct when we communicate with one another, so focus on keeping that simplicity as you draft.
- Worry about the story first and the “ambiance” later. Authors often purple up their prose when trying to build a specific “vibe” for the reader. We want them to feel immersed and transported by our language, but that doesn’t mean forgetting about what’s actually happening. Focus on making your story strong first; polishing the individual sentences can wait.
- Think like a reader who is going to read your book. No really, think about it. If you think you’d be bothered by the language if it were in a different book, that’s a good sign it’s time for some self-editing.
Un-Purpling Your Prose
Maybe you’ve been reading this with a wary eye on your suddenly plum-colored manuscript. Don’t worry, purple prose isn’t a lethal ailment, or so we’re told. There’s still time to save your book and have it feel the way you imagined. So how do you fix what’s already on the page?
- Keep an eye out for metaphors. There’s nothing wrong with a solid metaphor or simile spicing up a chapter, but it gets a little dicey when there are a few on every page. Keep it simple and direct when possible. If everything is compared to something else, there’s no solid foundation of reality to build on.
- Cut out excessive adverbs and adjectives. Not every character, item, or setting needs to be referred to with exhaustive description. A woman with curly hair is not forevermore “the curly-haired woman.” And when she walks or runs, it doesn’t always need to be “quickly,” “slowly,” or “awkwardly.”
- Enlist the help of an editor. Sometimes doing it yourself isn’t enough, and that’s where an editor can help. A professional line editor will spot, fix, and help you better address the purple prose in your writing. There’s no shame in needing a second pair of eyes—we all do sometimes.
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